A Response I gave in class that I am perticularly fond of

On the other end of things. I am from the North. The land of carpet baggers and loud mouthed Phillies fans (Santa totally deserved what he got. If you don't know the reference i would Google it, its amusing and disturbing at once.). We have a reputation for being brusk, rude and mean. But I have to be honest, we do have manners. We pass our bowls at dinner in the correct direction. We know what fork to use first. No, we usually don't purposefully let doors slam in the faces of elderly women. I honestly don't know where it comes from that manners are soul property of the South.

What is different in the North is the treatment of women. My father threatened me with sending me to Cotillion as punishment if I did something bad. I was terrified of learning the complex social norms of the new land we had moved to. I was brought up to expect to be treated just like everyone else, and if I wasn't to do something. If anyone ordered a meal for me stab him in the hand with the dessert fork.

I can remember getting flicked on the ear for not holding doors open for men, for not giving up my seat to my elders, for chewing with my mouth open. But what I was also taught is a strong appreciation and pride for things I do myself. It might have been a safety measure from my father or a sense of pride from my mother who escaped poverty- pay your own way, there is no such thing as a free lunch. (yes my father taught me basic economics at the age of 8, I was raised to be a nerd)

I'm in control of me. I am independent of my parents once I become financially independent. Will I always love them? Yes. Will I always learn from them? Yes. But will I let them grant me permission to marry the one I love? No. It would make me feel like an object. I would feel de-valued. And i'm not saying everyone feels this way, or that they're wrong but this is just how I feel. I would want my parents blessing after the decision has been made but their blessing would have no baring on choice to get married.

If I can do it myself, I will. And I will take pride in it. But maybe that’s just the Northerner coming out again.